I will admit that I tend to have a less than long fuse on me. Some call it the latina temper. Sure, we’ll go with that. I think what it really stems from is passion. I am a very passionate person, my family is my life. I love hard, I hate hard. I am known to hold a grudge like nobody’s business. If you do me or mi familia wrong, may the force be with you because you are on my list for life, and it ain’t the yearly Christmas card list.
When I was younger, I was pretty proud of my hot headedness. I know I definitely get it from my dad, along with his stubbornness. But now, at the ripe old age of 32, and with four little sponges watching and taking in every little thing that I do, well, its an unattractive trait that I am working hard to eliminate.
Being mad, hating, holding grudges, it all takes an incredible toll on the mind and body. It is so much harder on yourself to hate and be mad than it is on the other person. As much as we like to believe that hating someone else is going to cause them great discomfort, they probably don’t even know we’re mad.
Meanwhile, what has that anger stolen from you? How much time and effort was wasted feeling miserable and cursing that other person under your breath? If your answer is more than one minute, then it has taken too much. And if your answer is years and years, well then, hola mi hermana, you are not alone!
I was having a conversation with two of my good friends the other day, Oprah and Bishop TD Jakes. Oh, do you know them? Yeah, they’re my peeps. Well, if by peeps you mean I admire them very much and happened to be in a ginormous theater attending a Life Class. And by conversation, I guess really I mean to say, I was listening to them speak forth their awesome wisdom, but hey, listening is an important conversation skill to have, so I was half way there!
Anyway, T-dog (thats what I call him, we’re cool like that…in mah head) said something relatively simple, but amazingly on point. “We forgive for ourselves, not the person we are mad at.” Did you get that? We forgive for ourselves. Wow. Yes. Yes T-dog, that makes sense! No one ever bettered themselves by holding a grudge. No one ever changed the world by frowning. Do you want to be happy? Then be happy! Its FREE! And best of all, happiness is contagious!!
There is no reason to harbor negativity, its like a nasty little parasite that will eat away at all of your happiness. Sometimes this means cutting ties with people that have proven toxic to you. Do it! There are people in this world that are forever miserable. They will see you smiling and happy and want to take you down. Don’t give them that power.
I am determined to let this way of thinking take over in my life and make me a better person overall. Baby steps. The latina temper is a real thing, and it is something to be feared. Just ask Abe. Poor Abe.
If nothing else, I want to be a good example for my babies. Show them that anger is not the way. Its lazy. It takes a bigger, better person to forgive and move on with their life. Plus, it will make the negative leeches crazy to see you happy and successful. *smile* What can I say? Old habits…