Happy Yarn Mail April 2017 Review

I am a sucker for subscription boxes, and while there are several out there that cater to crafters and even yarn lovers, they are typically geared towards knitters and include patterns for projects I would never make.  Or they come with super expensive yarn that I would have trouble finding, never mind how impractical it would be for the projects I tend to make.

So when I heard about Happy Yarn Mail, and saw a preview of the first month’s box, I have to admit, I was pretty darn excited!  On the website, Happy Yarn Mail promises an exclusive crochet design each month, only for subscribers and designed especially for the box, all items needed to make the project minus the hook, an exclusive video tutorial for the pattern, and extra crochet freebies designed exclusively for subscribers.

The monthly box costs $29.95 plus shipping, which for me was almost $10, ouch.  I handed over my $40 and happily waited for my Happy Yarn Mail to arrive.

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How stinkin’ pretty is that box?  I mean…….so cute!!!  It definitely made me smile, and looked super cute, waiting for me on my doorstep.

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Inside was a pretty pop of hot pink tissue paper and a thank you note card.

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Once you lift the tissue paper, you are greeted with your project for the month!

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This month’s project is Crochet Hoop Art.  Included is one hoop, what looks like a full skein of Lion Brand yarn in an off white color, and then three tiny little hand rolled skeins of the colors needed to make the hydrangea flowers.  There were no labels on any of the yarn.  The extra gift this month is the little plastic notions bag, that comes with a tiny bottle of glue and a little sampling of fringe, I am guessing to wrap around the bag?

The instructions look to be well written, though I have not yet made the project.  I have never seen anything like this before, so it is definitely a unique idea!  And this pattern opens the door for so many other fun ideas you can make with the basic instructions given here.

My only problem with this box is the value.  For $40, I was underwhelmed.  Lets go over an estimated price list here.

*Lion Brand yarn is about $3.99 per skein.  The tiny mini skeins come nowhere near a full skein all added together, so I would value the amount of yarn in this box as $5.

*Embroidery hoops are really inexpensive unless you get into the higher end materials and finishes.  This is a basic, inexpensive model, so we’ll say it has a value rounded up to $3.

*Crochet Patterns are generally between $3-$5 on sites such as Etsy or Ravelry.  This is a pretty simple pattern, but it is printed in color for us, so let’s give it $4.

*Notions bag with glue and fringe.  This is a plastic material with a tiny amount of fringe and a tiny bottle of glue.  It’s cute, and nice to have everything you need to fancy up the little bag all ready for you.  At best, I would say we could value the whole set at $5.

With these values, it brings the total estimated value of the box to $17.  But we paid $30 for the box and an extra $10 for shipping.  Is this a good value at $40 per month?  I hate to say it, but I don’t think so.

I love the pretty box, I love the crochet theme, I love the projects I have seen so far, and I really love the whole idea.  But I think it needs to be priced better.  I would be happy paying $25 a month for this box, tops.  I know the estimated $17 value we gave it is definitely more than it cost to put it together because companies get things at discounts for buying in bulk.  And I realize this is a small business at the moment, put together by a blogger and crochet designer.

Also, the exclusive patterns that come in the box that aren’t available anywhere else?  March’s pattern is available for purchase through the owner’s Etsy shop.  For $4.99.  Umm…

Next month’s box has an add on item, a pretty crochet hook, that you can purchase in addition to the box or separately, in limited quantities.  The crafter behind the hooks has a horrible reputation online, of taking money and not delivering goods, so I would be wary of even purchasing the item.  I’m not sure if Happy Yarn Box already has the hooks in their possesion or not, but it sounds like it could be a nightmare.

I plan on trying a few more boxes to see if the value can be found, because like I said, I really do love everything about this box except for the high price tag!  Stay tuned for an update with the finished pattern and review on how it turned out, as well as a review for any other boxes I may purchase.

Check out Happy Yarn Mail for yourself by clicking HERE.

Did you get this box?  Or March’s box?  What did you think?

As I said, I paid for this box with my own money, and all opinions are honest and my own.  I have not been compensated in any way for this review.

 

DripJoy Coffee Subscription Review!!

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I love, love, love coffee!!  The look, the smell, the taste….anything coffee is pretty much amazing to me.  I enjoy it hot or iced, black or flavored, any way you serve it, coffee make this girl happy!

In our home, we have a Mr Coffee brewer for making full pots, and our Keurig Brewer for the convenience of single servings.  I really love the convenience of grabbing a pod, throwing it in the machine, and having an instantly fresh, hot cup of coffee.  But, finding a really good quality coffee pod is not so easy!

I have taste tested many, many different brands of coffee pods for the Keurig, and very few deliver truly delicious cups of coffee.  They are often too weak, or just oddly flavored.  We have also purchased the reusable pods, where you can brew with your own coffee of choice.  Meh.  I don’t know why, but the magic promised with those gadgets just does not deliver.

When I was asked to test and review DripJoy Single Serve Coffee pods, I was excited, because coffee, but wasn’t expecting anything different than what I am used to.  I was very pleasantly surprised!

First, lets talk about what exactly DripJoy is.

DripJoy was started with the frustration of single cup brewers.  Realizing there is no need to sacrifice quality for convenience, DripJoy started with constructing a brand new brewer, a machine that is available directly through them, that solves many of the frustrations of clogged and faulty brewers.   But they also chose not to chance just any coffee with their newly designed brewer, and went straight to the source, working with farmers across the world to get the freshest, highest quality coffee for their pods.

These awesome, high quality JoyPods work with Keurig machines, but you can also sign up for a greatly discounted Premium Brewer when you sign up for a subscription.  In the higher tiered subscriptions, you even get the brewer for free!  The website walks you through your order, helping you to decide what monthly plan works best for you.  You tell them whether it is for home or business, how many coffee drinkers you have in the home, how much coffee you drink, etc, and they come up with a plan best suited for you.

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Plans start as low as $14.99 a month, which is billed and shipped every other month, so one charge of $29.98 for two months of premium coffee shipped directly to you.  The price per cup goes down as you choose larger plans, but even at the lowest tier, it’s only $0.62 per cup!  Way less than a cup from the local coffee shop, more convenient and quicker than brewing a whole pot, and the coffee tastes amazing!!!  You can even try out a sampler pack for just $1.00, which includes a mix of  the different varieties so you can see how great the quality is and also taste the amazing brews!

There are seven different roasts to choose from: Morning Joy, Dark Bean Daydream, Colombian Cheer, French Elation, Vanilla Jubilee, Happy Hazelnut, and Delightful Decaf.  I chose Dark Bean Daydream and Colombian Cheer for my review, and I could not be more happy!

First of all, the package is designed to fit perfectly in your cabinet, unlike many other packages from other brands.  I love this!  And the cups have a happy little face on them, preparing you for the bliss you are about to experience.

As soon as the cup began brewing, my entire kitchen was filled with the amazing aroma of the rich, dark, intoxicating loveliness.  It even smells better than those other coffee pods!!  But the real test was in the taste, and let me tell you, DripJoy passes with flying colors!  I haven’t brewed coffee this good in ages!  Certainly not from a coffee pod!  It is strong and rich, but not bitter at all.  I enjoyed it hot and fresh and even as a nice refreshing iced drink.  Of all of the coffees I have used in my iced drinks, this is by far superior.  It is truly coffee house quality, in the comfort and convenience of you own home!

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I am a huge fan of DripJoy, and can’t wait to try even more of their yummy varieties.  This is a company that not only cares about giving you a delicious, convenient cup of coffee, but they do it sustainably,  harvesting only at the ripest moment, ensuring maximum yield and the most robust flavor.  Only the highest quality beans are used, which guarantees the best cup of coffee every single time.

With your subscription, you can change your roast preferences at any time online.  If you get their brewer, they guarantee it!  If it should ever break, they will replace it for free!  Your subscription will automatically renew, so you never have to worry about forgetting to pick up or order more pods.  They also send you an email before they renew your subscription.

Shipping for DripJoy is just $9.99 per order in the contiguous U.S.  But they also have a program called Shipping+, which entitles you to free shipping when you commit to subscribe for one full year.  This saves you over $115 a year, and makes it all an even better value!  There is a fee if you decide to cancel before your 365 days are up, but when would you ever not want to get amazing coffee delivered for free right to your doorstep?

Click HERE to check out the DripJoy website and customize your very own yummy coffee subscription!

Click HERE to check out and follow DripJoy on Twitter!

Click HERE to check out and “like” the DripJoy Facebook page! dripjoy3

The awesome folks at DripJoy provided me with free product for review purposes only and I was not compensated in any other way.  All opinions are my own, and I really do love their products!

My Big Fat Fabulous Lie

Have you all seen the TLC show, My Big Fat Fabulous Life?  When it first came out, and it was revealed that the main character had PCOS, I was instantly interested to hear more.  So many women suffer from the disorder, and yet so much is still unknown about it all.

While I went in, hoping to see more light shed on the subject, it turned out to be much more of the typical unreal “reality show” circus.  Heavily scripted and just ridiculous, with the star of the show blaming everything on PCOS, making people who are really suffering look foolish.

The last few episodes were so ridiculous and over the top, it was sad.

It is insanely rare to get a false positive pregnancy test period, PCOS or not.  Further more, to get a positive pregnancy test, the body has to be secreting HCG (human chrorionic gonadotropin).  This hormone is produced by a growing embryo, and later the placenta.  Nothing else can create or mimic this hormone except for extremely rare types of tumors.

False ovulation test positives?  Yes.  Very common in PCOS, but that is a completely different hormone.  Ovulation tests react to LH (luteinizing hormone), or more specifically a surge in LH.  Because ovulation is so erratic in women with PCOS, the tests can pick up false surges, when the body is trying to ovulate, but ultimately does not do so.

There are so many women suffering from infertility, specifically tied to PCOS, it really sucks to play out a fake story line on a fake reality tv show for ratings.  In fact, it’s insulting.

Fans of the show, I don’t judge you for watching, but please don’t assume anything is real.  Enjoy it for the writing and the acting, but don’t take notes on any “facts” they sprinkle in for drama.

To my fellow cysters, yes, my eyes hurt from rolling so hard as well.  Fight on and be strong!

PCOS Series: Breakthrough Bleeding

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One of the most common symptoms of PCOS is a wonky period schedule.  I know for myself, I have never in my life had a predictable cycle.  Sometimes they were 28 days, sometimes 34 days, and more often than not, any random number of days, meaning I could go months and months with no sign of a period at all.

Awesome if you aren’t trying to conceive, because who wants a period anyway, right?  But there is science behind why that happens, and it’s important to understand how your body is working so you can try to combat irregular symptoms, of which there are many in PCOS!

Some women with PCOS think they are continuing to have “regular” cycles because they bleed every month, but in fact what is often happening is called estrogen breakthrough bleeding or anovulatory bleeding.  This happens when there is no ovulation, which means no progesterone is produced.  Without progesterone to balance out the estrogen, the endometrial wall is constantly thickening, unable to shed because it is lacking the necessary hormonal messages.

A period that occurs during an anovulatory cycle can be irregularly heavy, due to the increased thickening.  Sometimes, however, the bleeding can be lighter.  Or you may notice blood clots, some of which can be alarmingly large.  Trust me, friends, I speak from experience.  In general, the advice is to notify your doctor if the clots you are passing are larger than an egg.  Larger than an egg!   Fun times.

It is helpful to know what is normal for you, so you can judge each cycle and note the differences.  Because of all the huge hormonal fluctuations in women with PCOS, periods can be very different even cycle to cycle.  I myself have had a cycle last for over 3 weeks with insanely heavy bleeding, flooding, clots, etc that had me nearly housebound.  If you find yourself in this position, talk to your doctor!  There are medications your doctor can give you to help stop the bleeding, not to mention, there are several ways to help manage PCOS symptoms.

Know what is your normal, keep a journal, mark your calendars, keep yourself informed.  Knowledge is power, my friends, and the more you know about yourself and how your body works, the better equipped you are to treat it and take care of it.  It is also super helpful for sharing the information with your doctor, who can then help you to come up with a game plan for treatment.

Speaking of doctors, if your doctor is not helpful with helping you treat your PCOS symptoms, or infertility, or anything for that matter, if they are quick to simply blame your being overweight for your health problems, RUN AWAY!!  That is a lazy cop out, and you deserve a doctor who cares and who will treat you fairly and with respect.

Also, women with PCOS aren’t always overweight!  There are lots of thin cysters out there, having the same problems, minus the weight issues that are often common with the disorder.

There is no cure for PCOS, only treatment.  This is why I am so passionate about learning everything that I can about it and sharing it with you.  There is still so much to be learned about it all, but understanding what is happening is a huge step in the right direction.

Stay tuned for lots more in this series, and be well my friends!

 

 

She really is good, guys! And gals!

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That’s a Ted Drewes reference, for those not from the Saint Louis area.  🙂

Wow, so 2016, right?  Like, wow.  The year started innocently enough, and I guess I was under the illusion that we had our stuff together.  April 19th comes, and suddenly we are homeless.

The people who lifted us up and carried us through the first few weeks of not knowing and of pure fear were friends, mostly dance family.  I had dropped all pride on the day of the fire, I called my mom and begged for help…on her answering machine.  She did call back 6 hours later.  Abe told her that we were settling into a hotel and weren’t sure how long we were going to be out of the house.  She hung up and never checked up on us in any way whatsoever.  Over a month went by when she accidentally saw us out and about.

I was admittedly cold to her, but she didn’t pick it up.  She listened and shook her head, and then blamed Abe for not telling her it was more serious.  Excuse me?  Basically she claimed ignorance, and once I updated her, she went straight to updating me on family drama, never mind that her daughter, son in law and grandchildren were living in a hotel, unsure of when they could get back home.  It was unreal, so much that when she walked away, I laughed.

We ended up out of our home for seven long months.  And even at our lowest and scariest times, I found myself worrying about taking care of other people, of helping anyone I could, of staying present and hosting company and keeping up happy appearances when I was charred and dying a little inside.

But that’s what I do.  I put everyone, and I do mean everyone above and beyond myself.  I always have, since I was a child.  There is not a mean, manipulative, petty bone in my body.  I give too much.  I know I do, my body certainly knows I do, but I smile through the pain and I give everything because I want the people I love, the people I care about, to not ever spend one millisecond feeling the way I have been made to feel my entire life.

It is easy to be angry.  It’s easy to hate everyone and think everyone is hiding ulterior motives behind their smiles.  It’s easy to play Scooby Doo and try and rip the mask off all the villains, but you know what?  Not everyone wears a mask.  And not all those who do are hiding malicious intent.  Maybe they wear a happy mask to hide the pain and to keep the peace around them.

I have spent time and money and wasted too much of my happiness throwing it away on people who question my intent.  It’s been a downward spiral since the ridiculousness  my dad started almost 5 years ago.  Cussing out my husband, telling him he has to control me and that I don’t do enough for them, then later telling people my husband didn’t care if my mother lived or died, all in the middle of her cancer battle.  So sick, so disgusting.  But that’s just how he is, my mom said.  He can’t apologize, because that’s just not his way.  Meanwhile, let’s all pretend he is a great guy, and it’s me and Abe who are the villains!

No one stood up for me.  Not to this day.  I have lost siblings and extended family, and of course my parents, and all on his narcissistic, abusive, bs.  He successfully kicked my aunt out of the family, poisoning my mom with lies he would make up about her, buzzing in her ears, telling her made up crap, and he has done that to me.  He is getting rid of everyone who doesn’t blindly put up with his insanity, anyone who dares to speak up and stand up for themselves.  He just doesn’t know what to do with that so he lies.  He makes up reasons why they should be shunned and then he goes to work spreading the lies until even he doesn’t know the difference anymore.

My mom wants to believe that my dad and I should talk and fix everything, because I will regret it for the rest of my days if something happens to him while we are “on the outs”.  Unfortunately, she is so blind, she doesn’t realize that there is nothing to fix because there was never anything there.  Not once in my life did he tell me he loved me, or that he was proud of me, or that I was good at anything.  He is the picture of abuse behind a phony mask, but people just think he is funny or kidding, etc.  No.  I know the truth.  This sorry excuse for flesh is a monster.  He talks about everyone behind their back.  No one is safe.  He is toxic, and I am happy to be done.

I recognize that he is the root of my sadness, my feeling of not being enough for anyone, but I also know that it’s not true.

Newsflash!  I don’t suck!!

I love with all of my heart.  My words are sincere, my intentions are pure, and all I want is sunshine and rainbows.  And kittens and unicorns.  And glitter and….well, you get the idea.  I reject the negative, I reject the idea that I am not enough, that I have to give all of my time, love, money, etc to prove anything to anyone.

I am blissfully going into 2017 with my rose colored glasses locked and loaded.  I am going to let my silly, fun, carefree self take over, and if it bothers anyone, they won’t be missed.

I am so incredibly lucky, I have my soul mate, my best friend in the whole entire world, the best husband, daddy, side kick, you name it.  And my kids, holy crap, they rock!  So smart, so kind, so funny!  And we did that!!  We made them awesome!!  🙂  Pretty cool, man.

We cheated death twice this past year, and like, hello, message received!

Cleaning the house today of cooties and leftover Christmas trash, etc, and it just feels right to go into the new year fresh and clean of all that stinks.  No more time for nonsense, we are busy being awesome.

Happier, drama free posts to come!  I will update the silliness when I feel like venting, but mostly I am happy to get back to sharing tips and tricks and crafts and even some of my crocheted creations!  So much awesome to look forward to!

Friends, go into this new year knowing that YOU are enough!!!!  You are awesome and kind and people that make you feel bad don’t deserve your awesomeness.  Really!!  It’s that easy.  Extended family got you down?  They don’t deserve you, walk away.  Too many activities you feel obligated to say yes to?  Say ‘no thank you’ and walk away!  It’s okay!!  Life is too short to worry what ANYONE else thinks of you!  Seriously!  What a waste of time!  Trust me, I know first hand!  if they don’t recognize a pure heart when they see it, then it’s their loss.  Who knows what pain they have been through that doesn’t allow them to believe in the good anymore.  It’s sad, but it’s also not your battle.  Just love and it will bounce back to you.  Be kind, be good, and be open to receiving it back tenfold.

That’s all.

Love and best wishes for an amazing new year!  Until next time!

 

It can always be worse…..

Having a crappy day, where everything is going wrong, I feel like a failure, I am so crabby and so defeated I want to scream and then sob.

Took car in for safety check to renew plates, hit with a $1000 completely unforseen repair bill.  Finally ready to renew the plates online, don’t have my property tax receipts, don’t even know if they still exist in our possession, or if they are forgotten ash from the house fire.  Rushed to get daughter off to dance class over 30 minutes away, find out she does not have dance on Monday nights.

I can rattle off a thousand more reasons for my foul mood, and in the back of my mind, I can’t help but realize that things could certainly be worse, as the universe has proven to us more than once in the last several months.

Does that make me feel better?

The answer is no.  I still feel like screaming and crying and hiding under the covers until all the adulting is done and over with.

Being responsible blows, folks.

Back to School Times Four

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I knew it was coming, that I could not escape it.  It was inevitable, but it still took my breath away and has me typing this at one in the morning.

This year, our youngest baby starts kindergarten.  For the very first time, in the history of sending our babies off to their first day of school, I will be coming home alone.  No little hand in mine, walking home together, collecting leaves and planning our day.  No little voice singing along to the radio as we drive the older kids to school.  No kids shows as background noise.  No little shadow following me around the house.

Just me.  And the fur babies.

Every single last piece of my heart will be leaving me at home by myself all day.  Just the thought has me sobbing and in tears.

For over fourteen years, my life has been my children.  I went on maternity leave with my eldest and once he was born, I never looked back.  My entire day centered around my babies, it’s all I’ve known for so long, I feel lost knowing this chapter of my life is closing.

Sara still feels like a little baby to me, not ready to be sent away all day.  She still says words that take us several minutes, to her great frustration, for us to understand.  She just barely turned 5 a little over a month ago, and already, she has been stamped as ready for school and will be starting her journey outside of our home.  Away from me.

This all feels greatly rushed, especially not being in our own home, still living in a rental house as our place is in the process of being put back together from the fire.  I feel cheated out of our last summer.  I had so many plans, so many dreams of the perfect summer vacation with my babies before school started.  I allowed our circumstances to steal that away from us.  Shame on me.

Already, the hectic school year schedule has started, with dance and marching band kicking off earlier this month.  The days are flying by, I am running out of summer, and there is nothing I can do.

So I cry.  And I type at 1 in the morning, trying to make some sense of my sadness until my brain is too tired, too exhausted to think one more sad thing, and I finally drift off to sleep.

Tomorrow, I will hold my babies.  I will kiss their sweet, chubby, little baby hands, and I will cherish every last glorious minute I have with them before the school year steals them away from me.

I don’t know how moms survive this.  It feels unbearable to me, watching my babies grow up so quickly right before my eyes.

We didn’t start the fire…..really!

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Been a while, friends!  Just as I left you with my idea of video blogging PCOS related content, I up and vanished.  I have a really good reason, I promise!  We had a house fire and have been out of our home since mid April.

It all started on laundry day, with my very last load of laundry.  The dryer had just buzzed about 15 minutes earlier when I noticed a burning smell.  I happened to look outside the master bathroom window and saw smoke coming from the dryer vent.

Immediately, I ran downstairs to investigate.  The first thing I did was unplug the machine.  I noticed a very small amount of smoke coming from the left side of the dryer (we have or should I say had, a stackable unit, to help you visualize) so I opened the dryer door, still full of freshly washed and dried clothes.  I pulled out the lint basket, and could see flames inside of the machine.  (Side note, I am super OCD about emptying the lint after every single load, always, and we had even recently taken apart the whole dryer and vent to vacuum every little bit of dust and debris!)

I ran and grabbed a cup of water, throwing it on the flames, which seemed to do absolutely nothing, meanwhile the smoke was filling the laundry room.

The power ended up going out, so I used my cell phone to dial 911 as I rushed to get the dogs outside and then ran out onto the porch with Sara while we waited for help.  It was pouring down rain, I was soaked, and completely freaked out.  We had no shoes on, my cats were still in the house, and by the time the fire trucks arrived, our house was billowing smoke.

I called Abe frantically after calling 911, telling him what was happening, and ultimately hanging up on him as I rushed around trying to figure out what I should be doing.  When he later showed up, I was shocked, it hadn’t even crossed my mind that he would leave work, that’s how scrambled my brain was, trying to digest what was happening.

I hurt myself, running barefoot up a wet, grassy hill to secure the dogs for the firemen.  I heard and felt a big POP, and was suddenly in excruciating pain.  It turns out I tore my calf muscle, pretty badly, and was in an insane amount of pain for several weeks to follow.

The cats were rescued by the firemen, and Abe, who had to collect Brady and Katie.  Moriarty was all chill, and let the fireman carry him and bring him straight to me.

The fire broke the main water line, which the fire marshal says helped to put out the fire.  I knew we had a lot of damage, but I honestly expected to be back in the house within a week or two.  That is, until the contractor told us his estimate for finishing was 3-4 months.  *insert jaw dropping shock here*

The amount of things we lost is mind numbing.  Nearly all of our clothing, I mean everything for everyone of us!!  My craft room and Abe’s office were completely destroyed, nothing left.  The vast majority of the kids toys, all completely gone, lost to the fire and water damage.

The playroom where we spent so much time, where we recently renovated with new flooring and built ins, completely destroyed.

Handmade gifts that took hundreds of hours to make, the kids artwork, photos, books, collectibles from childhood and little keepsake memories, all gone.

But you know what wasn’t gone?  My family.  My kids, my furbabies, even our aquarium full of fish!!  We are all safe, and other than my torn calf muscle, all completely unharmed.

What a BLESSING!!!

Our friends, our neighbors and our amazing dance family took care of us when there was no one else there to help.  When I woke up in the hotel room, hearing one of my babies coughing and then began to cry because I had no medicine, nothing to give them, our dance family answered with cough drops and toys and clothes and toiletries.  I cannot count the tears of gratitude I have shed, being lifted up by all of our adopted family members, when we had no one to turn to and no answers.

Yes, we lost all of our “stuff”, but it turns out we were rich beyond measure and never even realized it.

We spent about 6 weeks in the hotel, before the insurance company found us temporary housing at a rental house near our home.  On the second night in the rental home, we found ourselves once again surrounded by firemen.

A carbon monoxide alarm starting going off, just as we were preparing to go to bed.  Thank goodness, because when the fire department came out, and the fire marshal assessed the home, he told us had we gone to bed that night, not knowing about the leak, we would have likely never woke up the next day.

Take a moment to digest that.

After walking away from a house fire unharmed and living in a hotel for 6 weeks, we nearly died from carbon monoxide poisoning.  All of us, the children, the dogs, the cats, we all could have died.

Well, if we weren’t insanely thankful to be alive before, we certainly were now!!!

Can you imagine?!

So back to the hotel we went, for about 4 days, while the water heater, which was the cause for the leak, was replaced.

Having endured so much, and roughing it with so little, we got a letter in the mail from our insurance company.  What we had expected to be a reimbursement check, turned out to be a non-renewal notice.  The insurance company decided not to renew our policy, right smack dab in the middle of a huge claim!!  The house is demo’d and awaiting construction, and now we had to worry about finding coverage for our home that was unoccupied and destroyed.  Let me tell you, it is not possible.  The answer, is lender forced coverage which can cost 10 times as much for less coverage!

This is when I officially shut down and started having full blown panic/anxiety attacks.  We’re talking, not able to sleep, constant fear and stress, worried we will lose our house!  I started imagining having to rent a trailer, losing the perfect home that we loved and worked so hard for.  It was extremely painful, and excruciatingly traumatic on top of everything else.  Absolutely the straw that broke this camel’s back.

We immediately called our agent’s office, who was shocked that we got the letter in the first place.  They vowed straight away to “rattle cages” and find us answers.  This all sounded good, but weeks went by and time was running out.  I wasn’t sleeping, I wasn’t leaving the house, I was super depressed beyond words.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, we got the amazing news that they were able to get our policy renewed…..for a higher premium and higher deductible.  But still, the amount of amazing, sweet relief this gave us…….immeasurable.

So here we still sit, in the rental home, no construction started yet, grrrrr, waiting for some good news and very cautiously able to breathe again, hoping to have nothing but good news and happiness in our future.

We usually have big birthdays for our kids, something I absolutely love to do, but have not been able to do with the two kids who had birthdays since all this madness started.  And we are gearing up to have a third birthday away from home, along with starting the new school year.

I had really hoped we would be home by now, I miss our beautiful home, I miss our veggie garden and spending the days outside swimming or playing or just relaxing on our own furniture surrounded by our familiar things.

I hope we have big news on construction soon, and maybe the contractors will surprise us and finish ahead of schedule.  I won’t nit pick and get into all the other problems we have had with various companies, etc during this experience, because in the end, it just doesn’t matter.  What matters is family, and we are all still present and accounted for.  We will embrace this adventure, and I’m sure we will speak about it often in the future.

In the meantime, hug your babies and furbabies and spouses, tell everyone you love that you love them, and just be happy.  Life is too short for misery, and you never know which day is your last.

Love and blessings!!  xoxoxoxo

Now you see me….maybe…

Seriously flirting with the idea of vlogging, adding another element to my blog here, and a new way to interact.  I’m implementing a lot of big changes in my world right now, and as I’ve mentioned before, re educating myself on all things PCOS.  I’m learning even more than I did before, 8 years ago, when I first dove into my research, and feel like it could be helpful to share what I find.

Speaking of 8 years ago……

So, it never fails to hit me this time of year, as the date approaches, and this year is no exception.  Next week, on April 13, marks what would have been my third baby’s birth date/estimated due date.  I was so stinkin’ excited to have a baby with diamonds as their birthstone!!  Not to mention, we don’t have any April birthdays in the family yet!  This year, I would be celebrating 8 blissful years, but the universe had another plan for me.

I lost my baby early on, and went spiraling down into my unexplained infertility battle, that I would eventually find out was caused by PCOS.

I am fighting PCOS to this very day, and have recently gotten so over it, I have decided to really do everything in my power to show this nasty condition who’s boss.  (Spoiler alert: I’m the boss!!  The power is in my hands, and yours too, if you are in my boat!)

I want a happy ending to my tear filled journey, and if I can give even a tiny glimmer of hope of help to someone who feels the same way, who is going through the same thing….well, then I feel like it’s my job to offer a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on, or even just an ear to listen.

That’s why I have been seriously considering vlogging, since I feel like I can better emote to you and speak like your friend, rather than just type the words to try and convey what’s in my head and heart.

I’ll have to see what my tech guy says, because I am thinking of just hitting record, spilling my guts, then sharing the video.  I get annoyed at the idea of editing anything or doing anything technical because, blah, it’s boring to me!  I am not a patient girl, I just wanna talk.  🙂

 

Caliente!

caliente

I have been gargling a hellish brew today, consisting of raw apple cider vinegar, honey, cayenne pepper, coconut oil and herbal tea, attempting a holistic approach to curing the strep throat my lovely baby has shared with me.  Yes, it’s as yummy as it sounds!  I’m also ingesting spoonfuls of raw garlic, a natural antibiotic, and continuing with probiotic supplements, trying to slowly rebuild and strengthen my immunity.  The hippie in me refuses to give up, I will fight this the natural way, antibiotic and doctor free!!

I’m still fighting illness upon illness in a tired, old, vicious cycle.  I do believe the end is near.  Not my death, mind you, but of the never ending illness on top of illness.  This is what I choose to believe anyway.

The days are getting warmer, the grass greener, and surely, surely better health is on my horizon!!

I’m scared of what the coming year brings, when we introduce another child to their first year of school, bringing home all of these horrid super cooties.  By then, universe willing, I will have gotten a grip on things and my body will be better prepared to fight off said cooties.

I’m also reading up on PCOS, reacquainting myself with all of the technical terms and the inner workings of the beast.  I am determined to rein it in this year, and to reclaim my fertility along with my health.  I have eliminated big stressors in my life, and after a weekend of uncertainty, expecting big drama and only getting a small, passive aggressive gesture, I feel like I can breathe deep and be selfish, thinking of myself first and focusing on positive change.

Change is GOOD!!!  (Well some change is good……Do you know Shemar Moore left Criminal Minds?! That change is NOT good and this baby girl is still heartbroken over that!)

My cousin has told me she sees a baby in my near future, my daughter has told me that her fairies see a baby in my near future, and just this past weekend, my aunt shared a tarot reading with me that seemed to hint at a baby in my near future.  These people are my heart and soul, and if even they feel the baby vibes, then surely the universe is in agreement!

So through the cruddy illnesses and crappy luck, I am continuing to see sunshine and rainbows.  I started some seeds today for our garden, and I am going to surround myself with love and happiness until it all finally sinks in and I see all of my dreams come true.

I hope this post finds you all in good health and smiles, and if not, know that I am wishing it for you.  Be happy and be well, my friends.