To put a bit of closure on my post from yesterday, I guess I should update the drama.
I called my mom. At first she claimed to have no idea that my dad had done this. As we talked more, it became clear that not only did she know he had done it, but she knew he was planning to do it, she knew when he was doing it, and they talked about it afterwards.
Okay. I get it. You have a bad day and you want to vent about it to somebody. You want someone to feel sorry for you. Fine. But my mom over dramatized everything, which my dad, being Latino and ridiculous, dramatized the dramatization by about 100% and that’s when he decided to blow up on Abe.
He would never come to me and drop this nonsense because he knows I wouldn’t take it. I would call him out on his exaggerations and that would set him off even more. We are too much alike, my dad and I. He thinks he is never wrong and I know I am never wrong.
When I was seventeen, not long after Abe and I started dating, he basically pulled the same crap. Only, I was home at the time, and when I happened upon him taking out his frustrations on Abe, I stepped in and ended it.
Then he kicked me out.
If I couldn’t agree that his way was the only way, then I had no place to live in his house.
He actually brought up this fight when he was unloading on Abe yesterday. He said he will never forget that fight and he is still waiting for an apology.
Don’t hold your breath, Papi.
I wasn’t wrong then, I am not wrong now. I did nothing to feel guilty for. I have my own life, my own husband, my own children and they are my priority. I am sorry if my mom had her feelings hurt, but it was of her own doing.
My mom plays the role of the helpless housewife that can’t control her husband or what he says or does. This makes me insane. It’s not cute, it’s ridiculous to pretend you have no mind of your own. “You can’t put a leash on Dad. You know how he is.” Sure, she is not responsible for what he says and does, but she has an opinion. There is nothing stopping her from speaking up if she believes what he said or did is wrong.
She didn’t speak up fifteen years ago when he kicked me out of the house, and she didn’t speak up yesterday. If anything, she egged him on.
That does not sit well with me.
I love my mom. I love my dad. I won’t allow anyone to treat my husband like a child to be scolded. And I certainly will not be made to feel guilty for things that are out of my control.
In all honesty, the only thing yesterday’s drama accomplished, was making me wish we lived far away. Somewhere drama free. I don’t rely on anyone but myself to make me happy. I consider myself to be a loving and thoughtful person. I love my friends and my family dearly. I go out of my way to let them know it every chance I get. I never want to be the cause of anyone feeling badly. I only want happiness, both for myself and for everyone around me. Passive aggressively attacking me did not pull me closer, it pushed me further away.
So now what?
Well, I will live my life and enjoy every second I have with my babies and my husband. I will stand my ground on not being made to feel guilty for things dreamed up in dramatic people’s minds. I am not punishing my parents in any way, but if they feel I am so evil, then perhaps I will just stay back and happily live my life as if the crazy never dropped. I’m not mad. I’m not upset. I’m above it. I have a much clearer picture of what happened, and being able to inspect it closely with a sound and rational mind just makes it look all the more silly.
I am happy. I know I didn’t ruin anything. I have a clear conscious. And I have a baby that is in the double digits age wise today! Ack!
A palabras de barracho, oidos de jicarero.
Forever and ever, Amen.