TTC Arsenal

fertility meds

Guys, this is just a tiny slice of the mega supply of supplements I have right now, in my desperate attempt to overcome my infertility.  I thought it might be helpful to get an idea of what I am using and the effectiveness of the products I will share as I use them.  This is just what came in a recent Amazon delivery, to be added to my regular routine.

I think it will be easier if I break up my supply into several posts, because it’s a lot of stuff and a lot of info to take in.  I should mention that in addition to the supplements I am using, I am also following a healthy whole foods eating plan, and exercising 5+ days a week.  All of the supplements in the world won’t help you if you aren’t being proactive in all aspects of your life.  I should also mention, for those that don’t know, that I suffer from PCOS which is largely responsible for my secondary infertility.

Secondary infertility is described as the inability to achieve or maintain a healthy pregnancy following the birth of one or more biological children.  What I have come to learn, is that it is typical for PCOS to really take hold and cause infertility in your mid to late 20’s.  This is exactly what happened to me.  I had two children and then came the nightmare roller coaster of miscarriage and infertility.

I had a Clomid/rainbow baby, and then quickly became pregnant with my youngest soon after.  The combination of breastfeeding, weight loss and somewhat normalized hormones coupled with perfect timing helped me with that.  Since then, my PCOS has flared out of control.

So now, I have my battle gear on, and I am fighting to regain what should be rightfully mine.  I have grown tired of being betrayed by my own body and decided to take action.  Sometimes you just have to get mad to get serious, and this year, my friends, I got pissed off.

Pictured:

  • Premama Fertility Supplement:  This is a drink additive that includes 2000 mg of myo-inositol and 200 mcg of folic acid.  I know I have tried inositol supplementation before with zero results.  Call me crazy, but I decided to try this supplement anyway with a daily tea I will talk about soon.
  • NAC 600mg (n-acetyl-cysteine): This is touted as a miracle supplement by so many for PCOS and has been on my mind for years but I never tried it before.  Until now.  Some benefits reported include improving insulin sensitivity, lowering testosterone and free androgens, regulating cycles and improving regularity of ovulation, supporting egg quality, and higher progesterone levels.  This supplement is in the sulfur family, and let me tell you, the capsules smell awful.  But if it can help me, you know I’m willing to give it a try.
  • OPK Test Strips: Wishful thinking, but I would like to be able to use these puppies, and I know you go through a ton of them in a cycle so I stocked up with a 100 count box.  I will go into more detail on OPK’s for cysters, as they are a whole new game, but for now, I am just well stocked and hopeful.

Stay tuned for more arsenal info, and hopefully I will be able to update that the crazy cocktail of supplements offers me some benefits.  PCOS is tough to navigate and there are so many promised miracle cures out there, it’s hard to know what is even worth trying.  I do a lot of research on everything before I decide to try anything, and of course, none of this is meant as medical advice, it’s just me being open and sharing my journey.  As far as dosages, that can vary wildly, depending on what study or article you read.  I tend to follow the research studies for dosage amounts, rather than the label on the bottles.  It’s all trial and error, really.  I try to be tuned into my body and adjust accordingly.

Until next time, friends!

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Now you see me….maybe…

Seriously flirting with the idea of vlogging, adding another element to my blog here, and a new way to interact.  I’m implementing a lot of big changes in my world right now, and as I’ve mentioned before, re educating myself on all things PCOS.  I’m learning even more than I did before, 8 years ago, when I first dove into my research, and feel like it could be helpful to share what I find.

Speaking of 8 years ago……

So, it never fails to hit me this time of year, as the date approaches, and this year is no exception.  Next week, on April 13, marks what would have been my third baby’s birth date/estimated due date.  I was so stinkin’ excited to have a baby with diamonds as their birthstone!!  Not to mention, we don’t have any April birthdays in the family yet!  This year, I would be celebrating 8 blissful years, but the universe had another plan for me.

I lost my baby early on, and went spiraling down into my unexplained infertility battle, that I would eventually find out was caused by PCOS.

I am fighting PCOS to this very day, and have recently gotten so over it, I have decided to really do everything in my power to show this nasty condition who’s boss.  (Spoiler alert: I’m the boss!!  The power is in my hands, and yours too, if you are in my boat!)

I want a happy ending to my tear filled journey, and if I can give even a tiny glimmer of hope of help to someone who feels the same way, who is going through the same thing….well, then I feel like it’s my job to offer a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on, or even just an ear to listen.

That’s why I have been seriously considering vlogging, since I feel like I can better emote to you and speak like your friend, rather than just type the words to try and convey what’s in my head and heart.

I’ll have to see what my tech guy says, because I am thinking of just hitting record, spilling my guts, then sharing the video.  I get annoyed at the idea of editing anything or doing anything technical because, blah, it’s boring to me!  I am not a patient girl, I just wanna talk.  🙂

 

PCOS Awareness Month

pcosawarnessmonthbyjennka

What perfect timing to delve into the beast known as PCOS, or Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome!  So to start things off, perhaps we should start at the beginning and explain just what exactly this condition is.

PCOS is one of the most common hormonal endocrine disorders in women, but is still a tricky thing to actually get diagnosed because of the many varying symptoms that can be confused for other issues.  Short story: Women with PCOS have multiple cysts on their ovaries, and those little suckers start a whole avalanche of hormonal imbalance.  Some of the havoc this imbalance can bring includes: infertility, acne, weight gain, trouble losing weight, thinning scalp hair, loads of extra face hair, oily skin, irregular periods, potential insulin related problems including diabetes and increased risk for heart problems, and unbelievably, with all of these fun ailments, anxiety and depression are also very high on the list.  Go figure!

I self diagnosed myself with PCOS back in 2008, after having a miscarriage the year before and being unable to get pregnant again afterwards.  My doctor later confirmed my diagnosis through ultrasounds and blood work.  I was given a prescription for Clomid, and 6 months later, I was expecting our little Noey Bean.

Now, I had heard that sometimes following a pregnancy, the hormones can sort of self regulate and was hopeful that we would be able to get pregnant again some day.  Because of our struggle with secondary fertility, we started trying to conceive again just before Noah turned one, expecting it to take possibly years before being successful.  When the pregnancy test came back positive three weeks before Noah’s first birthday, I was dumbfounded!  That pregnancy brought us Saraphina.  ❤

It has been our desire from the start to have a large family, and our “plan” does include more children.  So last year, we decided to hop back on the heartbreak train of TTC (trying to conceive).  Ironically, looking back, it would appear that the last time I ovulated, was the month before we decided to TTC.  Laugh or cry or scream, but I’m pretty sure that is indeed the case.

I have always had irregular periods, another sign of PCOS, but like most girls, I loathe that time of the month, so going months sometimes without is all fine and dandy with me, until you actually expect your body to work like it is supposed to.  Crazy, right?

I can tell when I actually ovulate in a cycle, because the resulting period is a nightmare. (heavy bleeding is another PCOS symptom)  Like, I’m talking, don’t leave the house, don’t move, don’t sneeze, just chill for 5 days or risk looking like an extra from the latest gorefest slasher flick.

On months when I don’t ovulate, I still get a period, but not really.  See, bleeding without ovulation is also known as estrogen breakthrough bleeding, or annovulatory bleeding, and while blood is involved, for me, it is a very miniscule amount compared to my usual “fertile” cycles.  I imagine it is what a “normal” cycle would be like, but without ovulation, it is a big fat bloody (or not so bloody in this case) waste of time in my humble opinion, and a reminder that I am broken.  Ugh.

I have more fertility books than I can count, including Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler.  This book is amazing for learning about your body, how things work, charting your cycles, using a BBT thermometer, etc.  The problem is, having PCOS, a lot of it’s usefulness is wasted on me.  I have tried charting, but my charts are crazy, thanks to PCOS.  I can use ovulation predictor kits (opk’s), and while I will get a positive result, a spike in lutenizing hormone or LH, it definitely does not mean that I will ovulate.  My body has been gearing up and trying to ovulate for what feels like forever, but the hormone imbalance kicks everything around and instead, I get a positive OPK, no ovulation, and then a frustrating annovulatory cycle.

One of the biggest treatments for PCOS is weight loss.  *Insert big fat sigh of annoyance right HERE!*  The hormone imbalance is greatly against you with this battle, and I have been feeling that especially hard for the last several years.  It doesn’t mean I’m not trying though.  We have adopted a whole foods diet in this house, meaning I am making alost every single meal we eat from scratch, with the most basic whole foods we can find.  Loads of fruits and veggies and beans, all good healthy foods, no added sugars, or chemicals.  I wish I could say I dropped loads of weight and feel revitalized, but in truth, I don’t.  I know we are eating better, and getting better nutrition, something I have no desire to change, but I hoped it would help me more with my PCOS symptoms.

I have tried more herbs than I can name at the moment, but I will delve more into that in another post.  For now, I just wanted to give a brief history of my personal struggle, along with a tiny, short version of what PCOS actually is.  I will be continuing this discussion all month long, and of course, will be documenting our journey hopefully through a successful pregnancy in the near future.

Until then, be well!  ❤

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

Back in October of 1988, President Ronald Reagan designated the month to be Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month.  “When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, their isn’t a word to describe them. This month recognizes the loss so many parents experience across the United States and around the world. It is also meant to inform and provide resources for parents who have lost children due to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, stillbirths, birth defects, SIDS, and other causes.”  It’s not something people like to think about, especially people who have never experienced a loss and don’t understand the pain and torment a mother feels when losing her baby.

I have suffered personally through miscarriage myself, and unfortunately, know some pretty amazing, strong women who have suffered through multiple miscarriages and infant deaths.

It sucks.  It’s stupid and it just sucks.  No child ever deserves to die.  No man or woman should ever have to send their child to God.  There is no rhyme or reason, there is no silver lining, it’s just stupid and it sucks.

My thoughts, my prayers, my love and hugs to each and every person who is personally affected by pregnancy or infant loss.

“A person’s a person, no matter how small.”

Dr Seuss, Horton Hears A Who!

 

 

April 13

April 13 is a strange day for me.  Every year, at some point on this day, I am sad.  Sometimes I am consumed by the date for days or weeks leading up to it.  Sometimes it hits me out of nowhere.  But it always hits me.

I lost my third pregnancy in 2007.  It was the first trimester, the excitement of having a baby was still fresh and new.  The baby’s due date was April 13.  My diamond baby.  Did you know April’s birthstone is diamond?  I told Abe he would have to buy me diamonds since it was our new baby’s birthstone.  That’s perfectly reasonable, right?  *smile*

My sweet diamond angel baby would be four years old this month.  That’s a fun age.  Over the terrible twos, potty trained and still small enough to want Mama cuddles.

The weather here is dark and gloomy, which isn’t exactly great for lifting spirits.  Luckily I have a terrible two year old and a snuggly nine month old for extra cuddles today.