I’m alive!!

Yes Drama

Yes Drama (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The house hunt is still very much on, and we are still smack dab in the middle of it.  I’ll admit, I wish we were further along in the process, especially since we should have been closing on the first house this week!  Boo!  But you know what?  Losing that house was a blessing in disguise.  We were so eager to get a home, in retrospect, I can clearly see that we were settling too much with that house.  And honestly, even if it were perfect, it is in a flood plane, and mama doesn’t need that worry!

Last year on Mother’s Day, I ruined my mother’s life by not reading her mind.  Oy.  This Mother’s Day was spent at home, just spending time with my family, soaking up the sunshine and fresh air.  In the year since all the silly drama, things have drastically changed between me and my parents.  We don’t see my dad at all.  The last time I saw him was on Halloween, because we stopped by to show off costumes to my mom, and to visit with my cousin and her little family.  I haven’t been back since, and as uncomfortable as it was, as it continues to be, I know that we won’t go there again.

I have never had a good relationship with my dad.  He is mean.  Honestly.  He is a bully, he is unreasonable, and he is just a nasty person.  My entire childhood was filled with memories of going into my mom’s room to find her crying because of some nasty thing my dad did or said to her.  He never beat her, but he was/is very emotionally abusive.  She has the attitude that he is the boss and whatever he says goes.  It’s sickening.  When we were little and heard my dad pulling into the driveway, all three of us kids would literally run and hide.  When Abe comes home, all my babies squeal with joy and run to the door to see him.  Hmmmm….

Not seeing my dad has been freeing and happy for me.  I have the relationship with him now that I always assumed I would.  Completely non-existent .  I was never comfortable around him, with the false persona that he projects to people.  I know who and what he is.  The problem is my mom.  She takes the role of martyr very seriously, and has used this whole situation to throw drama into absolutely every tiny little aspect of my life.  It is exhausting.

I am finding myself wanting to move far, far away.  To disconnect from everything and just take time to breathe and to enjoy my life, my babies, my husband, completely drama free.  If it was feasible to move out of state, I would do it in a heart beat.  I should feel guilty saying that I guess, but I don’t.

There is a small handful of people in my life that I truly enjoy.  Friends and a tiny fraction of family that are honest and true and just a joy to have in my life.  Maybe I am turning into a crabby old lady, but when drama is involved, I’m just done.  I don’t want it, don’t need it and won’t be subjected to it.

We have big, wonderful things in our near future!  Things that most certainly do not deserve to be over shadowed by silliness.  We are looking at some new houses this week, and new ones keep popping up, so I’m sure we’ll find the right one soon.

I have a fun post to share soon about a raccoon family that came to visit us!  Goodness, that was an adventure!  Stay tuned!  🙂

 

Mama Drama

I am very annoyed right now, but don’t want to let that affect what I write.  I am also angry and hurt.

Where to begin?

Well, Abe went over to my parents house this morning to borrow the power washer.  He was gone for two hours.  We live five minutes away.  I assumed he and my dad were talking about projects they want to work on, but as it turns out, my dad decided to yell at my husband as though he were a small child about ridiculous things.  Mostly about my mom.

*le sigh*

My mom’s people are dramatic.  She is one of the most dramatic people I know.  She gets upset very easily and reads way too much into everything everyone ever says.  She has a lot of health issues, as I have mentioned.  She just had surgery recently and had not been feeling well.  We had invited her to Matthew’s birthday party, but she felt too poorly to attend.  I understood that, no problem.  Because she was feeling so poorly, and because we had a million things going on Mother’s Day weekend, we just stopped by her house for a short visit.

Apparently, this is when I ruined my mother’s life.

When we arrived, I asked how she was feeling.  She told me she was tired and felt like crap.  Wanting to not put her out, we did not stay long.  About an hour.  Everything appeared fine on the outside.

I talk to my mom all the time.  I see my mom all the time.  She comes to my house all the time.  But I ruined her Mother’s Day.

By being considerate of her feelings and healing, I am a monster.  That was one of the biggest things my dad decided to scream at Abe for.

That’s another thing that is really bothering me.  Abe is very laid back and easy going.  A perfect target for a hot head that wants to unload.  Remember that Latina temper I talked about early on in my blog?  Well, my dad is the queen of dramatic Latin tempers.  Yes, I said “queen” on purpose.  Neener, neener, take that, Dad!

It’s not fair for Abe to even be pulled into any of this, much less get yelled at for something he didn’t do.  If my mom has a problem with me, then she needs to call me up and say so!

My sister goes weeks and weeks without visiting or talking to my mom.  And my mom just excuses it as her being busy.  My sister doesn’t have any kids.  Is she getting reamed for ruining Mom’s life?  No.  And she shouldn’t.  She is an adult and she has her own life to live.  If she is too busy, then she is too busy!  That is life.  But for me to be the problem here, when I go out of the way to talk to my mom and visit my mom several times a week?   Where is the logic in that?

Today, my mom is celebrating my sister’s birthday with dinner at her house.  We are not going.  I have two kids with nasty cases of pink eye.  My dad told Abe that we need to “suck it up” and go anyway.  Insinuating that we are lying about the kids being sick.  To that, I told Abe to drop off the germy ones and let them all get their cooties.

It’s all silly, it just is.  My mom should have had the ability to voice her opinion to me, especially if I ruined everything, like my dad tells Abe that I did.  I know that my dad is worried about my mom’s health and feels helpless, but that doesn’t make it okay to take it all out on Abe.

Poor Abe.

He doesn’t want me to say anything to anyone because he doesn’t want to hurt his relationship that he busted his ass to have with my dad.  I don’t see how I can possibly let this go without saying anything.  Especially since I am the destroyer of all things good.

It’s just ridiculous.  I was very angry and sad when I heard all of this, but now, honestly I am laughing about it.  I refuse to be made to feel guilty.  I celebrated my Mother’s Day by visiting my mom and then busting my butt running around getting last minute things ready for Bella’s recital.  I did nothing wrong.  We aren’t going to my sister’s birthday party because my kids had snot pouring out of their red, swollen eyeballs.  I am doing nothing wrong.

I guess now I need to call my mom.  I swear, she needs some anti depressants or something.  And me, well, I need a stiff drink before I dive into the drama.

Wish me luck!

Feliz Dia de Las Madres!

We had a crazy busy weekend!  Matthew had his bowling birthday party on Friday night, followed by a sleepover with his cousin.  Saturday was filled with odds and ends, getting things done that needed to be done, and then there was Mother’s Day!  I love Mother’s Day.  I’d like to say I spent it doing absolutely nothing, but that would be a lie.  There’s always something that needs to be done, and Mama can’t rest until it’s done.  Correctly.  I’m OCD like that.

But one awesomely fun thing that I did, that I love to do, is work in my garden.  And now I have these gorgeous new tools to garden with:

Those beautiful tools were a Mother’s Day gift from my cousin.  They are almost too pretty to use!  Almost.  I love them.  I was not expecting a gift from her at all, but along with these awesome tools and super awesome seeds that I can not wait to plant, she gave me the sweetest, nicest card that literally made me cry.  It made me feel very loved, very appreciated, and very, very special.  I love her to pieces.

This Mother’s Day was also the day I got two, count them, two Keurig Coffee Makers.

Allow me to explain.  I have wanted a Keuring for quite awhile now.  They are nice, but they are definitely a luxury, not a necessity.  I would never buy one for myself, and I would certainly not ask or expect to get one as a gift.  Especially right now, when we are pinching pennies to buy our dream house next year!  Well, I am spoiled.  I really am.  Abe bought me a Keurig for Mother’s Day this year.  He originally bought me the machine on the right, the Elite model.

Now here’s where I may sound ungrateful, but let me assure you that I am not.  Abe works his butt off providing for this ever growing family of ours, and I try to always get the very best deals for our money to make it go that much further.  As it turns out, the machine on the left, the Signature model was only $10 more at Sam’s, and not only was it the deluxe, upgraded model, but being from a club store, it also came with a lot of extras that the original did not.  It came with the water filter, the My K cup for using your own coffee, and 36 K cups, compared to the 12 that the original came with.  It was just a much better value for the money, sooooo…… We went out and grabbed the Signature and ended up returning the Elite.

It was just too good of a deal to pass up, and I love my Keurig!  It is spiffy!  And having every single cup fresh brewed, mmmm, I definitely can appreciate the difference!

I told you I was spoiled!

We dropped by my Mom’s for a short visit yesterday.  We usually spend several hours together on Mother’s Day, but she is still recovering from surgery, so I didn’t want to stay too long.

I had this idea for a craft a few weeks ago when my lemonade pitcher broke.  It was plastic, and full of candy when it broke, thank goodness.  But the handle fell right off.  I have since decided to replace it with a glass pitcher, but not wanting to throw away the old one….

I decided to paint it, epoxy the handle back on, and use it as a vase for a Mother’s Day bouquet for my mom.  I don’t have the inbetween steps or even a good after picture, but I do have a picture of my mom with the kiddos and the vase.

You get the general idea.  Isn’t it pretty?  I liked how it turned out so much, I wanted to keep it for myself.  I figure that’s a pretty good gauge on if the gift you are giving is awesome.  If it’s so cool you want to keep it for yourself, good gift.  The flowers are silk.  My mama does not have the greenest of thumbs, and it’s kind of depressing when a pretty bouquet of flowers dies, don’t you think?

Anyway, that’s my Mom and her nasty surgery scar.  She is doing better every day, but is still feeling kind of worn out from the whole stress and ordeal of it all.

And here she is with the whole crew, Sara, Noah, Matt and Bella.  The kids are all looking at me, but Mom is looking at my Dad who is also taking a picture at the same time.  It’s still a good picture though.

So my Mother’s Day was awesome.  I was spoiled, I felt loved and appreciated, I spent the weekend with extended family and just having fun.  Yes, it was busy, but that is the life of a crazy person with four kids.  The craziness continues this week with dance class, dress rehearsals, recital, a sleepover, a birthday party, last full week of school, Girl Scouts, Cub Scouts, etc.  May is such an insane month for our family.  I will be welcoming June with open arms!