Merry Christmas!

I can’t believe that already, in the blink of an eye, another Christmas is here, and quickly slipping through my fingers, soon to become a dreamy memory.

Next year at this time, we will have three babies in three different schools!  Not to mention homeschool pre-school lessons for Sara, before she starts school the following year.  I’m not ready for this!!

This year has not been kind to us.  It seems like we never really got back on our feet, every time we thought we were finally a step ahead, we would get knocked ten back.  It was rough.  I won’t lie, I suffered severe anxiety and depression this year, worried about putting groceries on the table at times, balancing bills and emergencies like car repairs and hospital bills.  We quickly realized we had bitten off more than we could chew and are still struggling for solutions, though I am praying that there is an end in sight.

I had planned a magical birthday party for Isabella, that had to get cancelled and completely revamped.  I had hoped to get her the American Girl doll of the year, Isabelle, the blonde haired, pink streak, ballerina!!  If ever there was a doll made just for my Bella, it was Isabelle!!  I planned on taking her to the American Girl store and getting her the doll then having a birthday lunch at the cafe.  I planned on it, but then life laughed and we improvised.  Reservations got cancelled, party was greatly downsized to a home made cake and inexpensive gifts, and as sad as I was, she was completely unphased.  She gushed over her simple cake and gifts and reminded me how lucky we are to just have each other.  (She did finally get the Isabelle doll for Christmas, thanks to her amazing daddy donating plasma and literally spending blood money to buy the silly thing!  A story for another day!)

Thinking we would just be able to scrape by and start getting back on our feet, we were then suddenly hit with a major health problem with Desi.  He had an abdominal obstruction which required hospitilization, fluids, several x rays, antibiotics, and oh yeah, a massive hospital bill.  This was the straw that broke the camel’s back.  Obviously, Desi is family and takes priority over non necessity bills.  Unfortunately, bill collectors like to get paid, and hassle the crap out of you if you can’t make their payments.  Yeah, so, multiply that anxiety by a thousand…..

As this year is quickly ending, the smell and promise of a fresh new start is intoxicating.  I have so many hopes and dreams for this new year, starting with conquering my severe anxiety and depression.  I know I am strong and powerful and capable of great things.  I have the ability to turn things around, see only the good in all situations, and to take that good and run with it.  I can’t and won’t let silliness interfere with what matters, and that, my friends, is exciting!

I hope that 2014 was far kinder to you than it was to me.  But if you had a rough go of it these past twelve months, then I hope that you have an amazing, life changing, happy and empowering 2015!!  Let’s make this our year!!  We are powerful and we can and will achieve greatness!  Kiss the negativity goodbye and inhale the promise of a new beginning!

This motivational message was brought to you by the self reflecting power of another Christmas come and gone far too fast!  Breathe it in, devour the moment, and live for your happiness.  Be happy and know that no matter what, you are loved.  ❤

New Beginnings!

“Everything will change.  The only question is growing up or decaying.” -Yolande Cornelia “Nikki” Giovanni

A brand new year always feel like a clean slate, a perfect diving board for starting fresh with anything in your daily routine that isn’t quite working for you.  I mentioned yesterday that I won’t be making any grand resolutions, simply because of my utter lack of tolerance for anything less than perfect when it comes to myself.  Yeah, I’m a sore loser.  If I make plans for myself and things don’t go accordingly, I pretty much do the equivalent of flipping the table, grabbing my toys, and storming home, not before screeching, “I’m not your friend anymore!”  I’m kind of ridiculous.

So this year, my goal is happy.  Easy enough, right?  I want to make choices that make me and my family happy.  I want to feel better, to do better, just all around to be better.

This year holds lots of pretty big ambitions, and we all need to be in the right place to achieve them.  Baby steps.

Organization wise, we have got to finish un-packing!  It is such a daunting task, looking at the sea of boxes in the garage.  So my goal with that is to do just one box a week.  I know we don’t have 52 boxes left to unpack, so that means it will easily get done before the end of the year.  I also know that while one box is the goal, maybe one weekend, Abe and I tackle a handful of boxes.  If the goal is small, anything more is just icing on the cake.

Health wise, well, I’m a hot mess.  It’s easy to put up drastic expectations, a strict plan of attack and discipline, but I know I would fail at that.  It’s kind of my thing.  I don’t like rules, so I break them every chance I get.  Yes, I have the maturity of a four year old when it comes to rules and authority, I realize.  😛  So, I will simply do small things this year.  I’m starting with a month of a green smoothie a day, to help me to get more greens and other healthy fruit and veg that I know I’m not getting enough of.  Don’t misread that.  I won’t be only drinking green smoothies, I won’t be replacing meals with green smoothies, and I most certainly won’t be giving up bacon, so let’s just be clear with that!  (Mmmmmm….bacon…)  I am just adding needed nutrition to my regular day.  If it happens to make me feel better and crave less crap, that is an amazing bonus!  I will try to share pics of my smoothies, for as long as it lasts.  No promises, I’m aiming small, remember.  😉

Family wise, we need to slow down.  We have crazy schedules, with school, work, scouts, dance, appointments, etc.  It is easy to feel rushed and out of control for most of the week, and I can tell you from much experience, that feeling sucks!  I’m not sure how, but I want to instill some calm into our daily routine, even if it’s just acting calm.  Hey, you gotta start somewhere, right?  Part of the crazy, involves the commute that Abe and Matt currently take for Boy Scouts.  When we moved, they stayed with the old troop.  That’s great and all, but it’s a half hour commute on a busy dance night.  Throw in four hungry kids, cold dark winter, and tired parents and well, it means Monday nights just suck hard in our house.  I am hoping that they can try out the Boy Scout troop close to home.  Their meeting times are better, the commute is a tiny fraction of the current one, and it’s still scouts!  We shall see, this mama has her fingers crossed!

So that is a taste of some changes I want to make with my family and myself this year.  Do you have big plans and goals for 2014?  Consider taking baby steps!  Be kind to yourself!  You have a whole year to work on making change, don’t let failed grandiose ideas rain on your parade!  This year can be the best year of your life!  Positive attitudes will get you everywhere in this world, even if it’s at a slower pace, at least you were smiling throughout the journey!  🙂

Watch for pics of my green smoothies and whatnot on the Facebook page HERE.